welcome to earth Mackenzie Leigh!!!

Here she is!!!!

Mackenzie Leigh Nothum

Born Sunday August 21, 2011 at 4:13 am
7 lbs 3 oz, 20 3/4 inches

So, here is the story... illustrations included! : ) (nothing graphic, don't worry : ))

So, at my appointment friday the 20th, my doctor said i was 4-5 cm dilated, and 90% effaced. i thought for sure I was going to go into labor that night. BUT, i didn't. so... we went to bass pro with the boys. i just felt like we should do something fun for them before their baby sis came into their world. so then saturday rolls around, nothing. so we went to ryan's parents house and ryan did some yard work while i played with the boys. finally, saturday night rolls around. i got the boys in bed and watched some tv with ryan. at 9:30, i noticed my contractions getting more consistent, but thinking i was going to be pregnant forever, i just brushed them aside. not to mention, i was induced with both of the boys so i figured i would be induced for all my babies. after a while, they were closer together, but they really didn't hurt so i started timing them just for the fun of it. i wanted to "pretend" i was going in labor : ) ... little did i know. i wanted to take a shower to relax and to be either A. clean if i did go into labor, or B. have one less thing to worry about in the morning before church. i then started feeling a little antsy since the contractions weren't really stopping. so i set the boys clothes out just in case, and got ready for bed. i really didnt want to go to sleep though until the contractions stopped. ryan convinced me otherwise. he said if it was the real deal, i would wake up, and if not, id get some rest in. but i still had a feeling i might be going into labor. as i layed in bed, i said a prayer to know if i was really going into labor or not, because i didn't want to have my mother in law drive 20 minutes at 11:30 at night, if i really wasn't in labor. literally, as i said "please let me know if i am really in labor," my water broke. but it wasn't anything major. i actually thought i might have peed my pants. it was just a little gush. so then i paused and waited to see if anything else happened. another gush came out. so then i got up and went to the bathroom and looked to see what color it was. CLEAR. i yelled to ryan that i thought my water broke. i dont think he believed me. he just stayed in bed. i started putting a little make up on and finished packing my hospital bag. finally i convinced him to get up and get ready to go. his mom came and took pictures of us getting ready to leave. it was around 12 when we got to the hospital. when we were walking in the parking lot, my water broke EVEN MORE, and it was definately a lot more. i felt so weird walking around with wet pants! luckily there weren't very many people out. i had ryan walk behind me when we passed the security guard : ) when we got to labor and delivery check-in, my water broke even more!! and once we got to the room where they were going to check me and see if i was dilated any more, MY WATER BROKE AGAIN in the bathroom all over the floor. when the nurse checked me, i was 6 cm. so they admitted me and off we went to our room!!! i was so excited!!! i went into labor on my own! it was so surreal.

so, once we got to our labor and delivery room, i was having contractions pretty steady, but they still weren't that painful. but all i could think about was my epidural. during all of my final doctors visits, my doctor said i was going to labor FAST since this was my third baby, especially since i was so dilated already. i was a little bummed because i was starving as soon as we got there. when i rememered all i could have was ice chips i thought, crap, this is going to be a long night. anyway lol, the nurse took FOREVER to get my iv in, so she ended up having her charge nurse put it in. i had to get the fluids in me (and antibiotics since i was group b strep positive) before the anesthesiologist could give me my epidural. after i got enough fluids in, i was starting to have some pretty strong contractions. they were getting pretty intense. right when they started getting bad, we heard a noise. the nurse said, "just ignore that screaming, its going to be over soon." ry and i looked at each other in shock, and i said, wait, was that really someone screaming? she was like ya, she was too late to get an epidural, but its going to be over soon. just then, the poor girl screamed again. it was not like a "ah, this hurts a little bit" kind of scream. it was a "I AM SERIOUSLY DYING, SOMEONE IS CHASING ME WITH A KNIFE TRYING TO MURDER ME" blood-curdling, horror movie scream. very eye-opening. so then, i started getting panicked. as the contractions got stronger, i remember staring at the clock wondering when the heck the anesthesiologist was going to come. i wanted my epidural, and i wanted it now! the nurse was nice enough to tell me that if there was an emergency surgery, well i would just be going natural with this delivery. surgery trumps epidurals. well, short story long, the anesthesiologist strolls in and i didnt get my epidural in until i was 8 cm! i remember saying to the anesthesiologist, "nothing like having contractions and being stabbed in the back at the same time." : ) oh...i must have been a joy to work with.

but really, i tried really hard to be polite to everyone. i wasn't completely nice to ryan when i had tucker, so i wanted to make sure this was a pleasant experience. i clearly remember talking very softspoken and saying thank you a lot to the nurses and to ryan... but maybe that was a figment of my imagination. : )

well, the contractions got worse and worse. and the epidural was not helping. i started hyperventilating a little at one point. my eyes were squeezed shut for hours im sure... i dont really remember that much visually between the time of the epidural and our sweet baby girls birth. i was seriously in the ABSOLUTE WORST pain I have ever been in. no lie. that was horrible. i squeezed the life out of ryan's poor hands. at one point, i reached up and grabbed ryans shirt and clenched the fabric- as if that was going to do something. i even went as far as reaching up and digging my nails into his arm. he later told me that when i did that, it reminded him of the church movie (i dont know what its called) that depicts the Savior in the garden of gesthemane gripping the rock in pain. he even told me later he teared up because i was hurting so bad. and that is A BIG DEAL. RYAN NOTHUM DOES NOT CRY ; ) i was totally not prepared for any form or duration of a natural birth. i started feeling so nauseated, i think it was because of my rapid breathing. i couldn't handle it. i couldn't control myself. i just did not know how to cope with the pain! i remember wanting to cry at one point, but i physically could not put the energy into forming tears. when he could see that i wanted to cry, ryan told me not hold back and to just cry. i quietly whimpered that i couldn't. eventually that changed, and i sobbed. uncontrollably. the nurse was urgently trying to help reposition me, give me as much epidural as possible, and really just help in any way. nothing really helped. i just wanted it to end. i seriously thought i was going to die. seriously. i even said things like, "i can't do this," "i dont know what else i can do," "it hurts- it hurts so bad." "it hurts" was the most used phrase : ) i just felt so helpless. really, really helpless. if i were to illustrate with words what my contractions felt like i would say it like this...

***imagine your uterus... now imagine it soaked in gasoline and lit on fire, then, add all the gravitational pull in the universe, and place it on and around ur uterus.***

and thats what it felt like. for me anyway. i was numb from my netherlands on down, so i was happy that i wouldn't feel her COME OUT OF ME, but i could totally feel every ounce of contraction. so finally, i think it was when i was already a 9 or 10, they called the anesthesiologist back in since i was in so much pain still. he opened the epidural thingy and gave me a straight injection of something. i dont know what it was, but it made the contractions so they weren't so long, so that was nice. i do remember grunting out a thank you to him as he left the room. :) ryan fed me ice chips, which was a good distraction. and he was constantly telling me i was doing such a good job and wiping my mascara off from under my eyes (who woulda figured i actually did need waterproof). he was really the reason why i was able to get through it all. he was soo helpful, and i definately felt his love during that time. after a few LONG and PAINFUL decades, i mean, hours of being at the hospital, i finally reached 10 and they called the doctor in. funny enough, i went into labor on the one weekend the doctor i did NOT want to have, was on call. : ) joy. so, he came in and delivered our sweet little Mackenzie Leigh at 4:13 am. what a NIGHT!!! but she was sooo perfect. as soon as she came out, the IMMENSE pain stopped, it was the weirdest thing. anyway, i couldn't get over at how perfect she was. ryan said she had my nose. : ) (now i think she has more of coles nose, which is really ryans nose) i was a little bummed though, i didn't know until later, but the doctor cut her cord. he didn't even ask if ryan wanted to cut it. yet another reason he is not my fav. but he actually did a good job. my doctor was on call the night before, and she had told all the nurses i didn't like the other doctor, so they totally knew i didn't like him as soon as we were admitted. they joked with me and ryan about it. and i actually think someone told him as well because he only came in to catch her, and then he was out of there. like he was kind of awkward about it all. but in the end, it wasn't that bad to have him deliver.

obviously this picture was like when we first got to the hospital and i wasn't on my deathbed. well, i was on the "bed of death" but i wasn't dying yet.

all the nurses said how "cheesy" she was, that she sticked to everything, and that she was going to be really soft since that helped keep moisture in. shes perfect! : )

i promise, i do have a neck

first family of 5 picture!!! ryan's mom lois brought the boys later that morning to come see their baby sister for the first time!!! tucker was sooo sweet. he was so excited to see her and me! it seemed like ages since i had seen them, but in reality it had been like <12 hours. cole on the otherhand, did not seem interested at all. he came over, rubbed her hair, then begged for my breakfast that was sitting on my desk/tray table (which i later pounded down and could have eaten more) he wouldn't even come sit with me or give me a hug. they only stayed for about 10 or 15 minutes. they were so over being at the hospital! they wanted to go play at grammy's. i was actually a little bummed they didn't want to stay longer, but it was alright. i needed some rest.

i love this picture!!!!! priceless. whats funny is, ryan slept SO stinkin much at the hospital. i joked with him that you know something is messed up when u sleep more at the hospital after having a baby than when u do at home without a baby. i was actually happy he was able to rest. and maybe slightly jealous that he wasn't having nurses/ workers come in and probe him every hour on the hour.

we had lots of visitors when we were at the hospital. it was so nice to have people come!! since ryan was knocked out most of the time, me and miss mackenzie got a little bored, so it was fun to have people to talk to. since we are in missouri, a lot of ryans family came to visit, as well as a few of our friends. ryans aunt linell was actually 3 doors down from us since she had just had her baby girl that friday. my mom and sister jacquie came to visit monday, and stayed till friday to help out with the boys for a few days. it was so nice to see them and for them to spend time with the boys! i get sad sometimes that my family doesn't get to be with our kids as much as ryans family does, but in the end, im happy that they get to spend time with family.

we were going to leave the hospital monday evening, but our pediatrician wanted us to wait till tuesday morning to make sure the culture they took from mackenzie to test for group b strep, came back negative. since i had her so fast, i didn't get to take all the antibiotics that i needed to make sure that it didn't effect her. thankfully, it did come back negative. if it were to have come back positive, she would have had to stay in the nicu and have an iv of antibiotics in her for 10 days!!! so, we were thrilled and felt very blessed that the little antibiotics they did give me, kept her safe. anyway, theres my story! there are a lot more details, but i feel like i wrote a novel already. all in all, we feel SO very blessed to have 3 wonderful, healthy, happy kids!

here are some pictures from the last week with mackenzie in our lives!!!

these boys sure love their little sister!!!

she is just so beautiful! i know i am probably biased, but i think she is just stunning. and i promise, she does wear colors other than pink! ; )




We love you Mackenzie Leigh!!

update:

on tuesday, i took Mackenzie for her 1 week check up for weight gain. she is doing AWESOME if i do say so myself : ) when we left the hospital, she weighed 6 lbs 10 oz, and at her check up she weighed 7 lbs 12 oz. she gained a whopping 1 lb 2 oz in one week span!!! shes got an appetite like her mother. she also grew a 1/2 inch since she was born. the nurse practitioner said she was perfect! as if i didnt know that already ; )

she eats and sleeps like a champ! last night i put her to bed at 10:30, and i woke up at 5 am to go to the bathroom, and then i realized what time it was and the fact that she hadn't eaten yet! so i woke her up to feed her since my feeders were a little on the full/uncomfortable side. i wonder what time she would have woken up if i wouldn't have done it??? and now, the retard that i am, i am up at 2 in the morning still working on this post instead of sleeping when she is...

p.s. the title of this post is due to my inability to be normal sometimes. a few weeks ago i visited my sister-in-law and her hubby at the hospital when she had her baby. i was saying bye to my brother in law and the new baby boy, and i didn't know how to end the conversation, so i awkwardly said, "welcome to earth ethan" and then walked out of the room. seriously... i feel bad for ryan sometimes.